Honey, Vinegar, or Both?

Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.
Ephesians 4:15 RSVCE

As the saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” The saying is true: honey actually does attract more flies than vinegar. But more importantly, the idea behind the saying is true: kindness is far more effective than harshness in drawing people into your way of thinking.

This saying often comes to mind when we talk about methods of evangelization. And it is true—kindness attracts people to Christ and the Gospel far more than blunt condemnation of sin.

The stereotypical street preacher with a sign that says, “THE END IS NEAR — REPENT OR BURN IN HELL,” who yells at strangers about judgment, is a terrible evangelist.

But here’s the secret: although honey is better than plain vinegar at attracting flies, honey isn’t actually among the best ways of attracting flies.

Guess what is? Apple cider vinegar. It has the sweetness of fruit—but the aroma carries farther because of the fermentation.

Now I want to draw a connection between that and evangelization. Yes—kindness is more attractive than judgment. But better than kindness alone is kindness joined with truth, even difficult truths. And among those difficult truths are these:

Sin harms and destroys us.

God cannot tolerate sin forever, and so He responds to it with judgment.

Those who refuse to believe and repent to the end of their lives face eternal punishment—that is, hell.

These things are true. They are revealed by God. And they call us to take virtue and vice, faith and unbelief seriously—as matters of ultimate importance. Worldly matters—wealth, honor, and pleasure—pale in comparison to matters of the soul.

And without the knowledge of sin and judgment, the Gospel becomes shallow. We may still speak about love and mercy, but we will no longer challenge people to turn away from that which hurts and destroys them. We implicitly leave them with ‘permission’ to continue the way that leads to destruction. The Gospel, in practice, becomes mere affirmation, rather than salvation.

Even though many flee these difficult truths in fear, the truth is ultimately attractive. Deep down, we long not only for mercy for our sins, but for upright consciences. Not just to be pardoned, but to become righteous. We want the fulfillment of God’s promises:

…the oath which he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all the days of our life.
Luke 1:70–75 RSVCE

Mere sweetness—honey alone—may attract some people some of the time, but it doesn’t satisfy the deepest longings of the human heart. The “bad news” of sin is essential to the Good News of salvation. As evangelists, we must never forget that. We should not be afraid to speak the truth—so long as we speak it with real love.